I’m participating in a 30 Day Living Mindfully Blog Challenge. This is my day 28 entry.
1. Are there are any little things, that you have been putting off doing, that you can finish today? How does it feel to tie that end?
2. Is there something that feels unfinished but is out of your “power” to finish? How does that feel? How could you bring in your practice and let it be, even it is just for a moment. Can you create space for yourself? How could you tie that end for yourself?
Now write a post or grab your journal and write about your reflections, experience and share your story.
Like most mothers, I’m a compulsive list taker. I derive great satisfaction from crossing off tasks in my to do list, regardless of how insignificant it might seem. Little things like replenishing the groceries, having the soles of my shoes fixed, or finishing a personal art project all merit a space in the list. Seeing the easy tasks ticked off motivates me to move on to the “bigger”, harder or less appealing work that we all must accomplish in the day to day business of practical living.
The truly big ones, though, the unfinished business that I feel powerless to close right this instant, bring up my analysis paralysis tendencies. When that happens, I used to fall into a worried heap of helplessness, and then put on a stoic mask until I reach a state of denial. This, of course, never worked, because when did pretending that something real doesn’t exist ever solve anything? The discomfort will persist no matter how many “inspirational” TV shows or movies or delicious food I’d binge on to make me feel better in the short term.
I won’t discount the comfort that some Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream can give on a particularly gloomy day, but I’ve since learned to gracefully embrace the existence of unresolved issues before moving on to tasks and activities that will uplift me. The problem is still there, it’s still, as yet, unsolvable, but the main difference is that I’ve accepted my powerlessness in seeing a resolution right now, but I refuse to let it take over my day.
I guess I’ve developed the capacity to have a bit more faith in the Universe’s infinite reservoir of forgiveness. Even for a stubborn, hard-headed denial queen like me.